Zombie Blog

So, if one resurrects a dead blog, is it a zombie blog? A reanimated blog? A Christblog?

Well, get ready. I'm back. Got a whole new set of ideas and stories that I'm ready to unleash upon the masses.

Can you dig?

Home Alone: Day Five

It's Friday!

Somehow, the fact that it's Friday didn't seem like such a big deal when I came home to an empty house. The dogs were ecstatic to see me, but, as anyone who has dogs can tell you - they are always ecstatic to see you return; whether you've been gone 20 seconds or 20 years. Same reaction every time.

Upon arriving home, I was immediately hit with overwhelming indecision. These are merely a portion of the thoughts that ran through my head like a horny speed-dater:

Should I treat myself and eat out or cook something healthy? Should I try to get my son's work permit or wait until he gets back and make him do it himself? Return a couple phone calls or wait until tomorrow? Go pick up books at the library or get a movie? Cruise the Internet or read a book? Eat dinner early or wait till later? Start laundry or weed the raspberries?

Aaaarrrrggghhh!!!

Being alone made the possibilities too numerous to mention. Without having my path narrowly defined by the ever changing needs and wants of others, I was unable to establish any true direction at all.

I guess that I've discovered that, when left alone, I currently have great difficulty charting a clear course for myself and sticking to it. I wonder if that will change as my children grow up and I gather the time back gradually instead of all at once?

Regardless of my new-found introspection, I must admit that I enjoyed this week. I enjoyed the way the house stayed clean. I enjoyed the peace and quiet. I enjoyed being able to follow my own quiet thoughts, wherever they led me.

But being alone sure gets lonely! Hurry home, guys!

Home Alone: Day Four

This morning I came downstairs and sneezed. In dire need of a tissue, I headed straight for the downstairs bathroom. As I approached the doorway, I saw my cat's head popping up from inside the tub. He did that cat-thing where his eyes got really big and he slowly started sinking down below the edge. As I walked into the bathroom, I saw him furtively glance towards the other end of the tub.

There sat a mouse.

A live mouse.

After my screams had died away, I plucked the cat from the tub and shut the bathroom door. Mouse was alive and breathing heavily. The tub looked like a scene straight out of "Fight Club". I knew I had to get him out of there, but I was irrationally afraid that he'd be able to get out of the tub if I left the room. As though he perhaps hadn't considered that option during the five or six hours he fended off imminent death.

After trapping him between an Archaeology magazine and some Tupperware, I deposited him outside. Way at the other end of the yard. He took a few steps and then I swear it almost seemed as though he glanced up towards the heavens and wiped a bead of sweat from his brow before heading into the treeline.

I don't know how long the cat had him trapped inside the tub, but it seems to me that maybe the feline species isn't the only one who deserves more than one life.

Home Alone: Day Three

I'm eating Milk Duds. I opened a drawer in my kitchen and there they were. For a second I got really excited and then I remembered that I put them there four days ago. I hid a half a box away from the kids and the husband by putting them in a drawer they'd never use, unless they cooked something. This sort of comes off as a slam on my husband and kids until you realize that I (who put them there) haven't opened the drawer either.

Today's episode of Home Alone features our lovely heroine (which is a word that is lovely to write but always comes out as a drug reference if you say it) frantically making phone calls.

I have a meeting tonight for a local fundraiser. Last week, I was put in charge of making several calls but never got around to doing it, so I've been on the phone ever since I got home from work. Just a couple more and I'll get 'er done. Good God Almighty, I hate calling people.

Maybe God reminded me to open the Milk Dud drawer as a reward?

Home Alone: Day Two

Well, last night was kind of a bust. I ended up spending waaaayyyy too much time trying to free up some disc space on my computer so I could download a game. After I checked to see if it had finished loading, I found out that I didn't have enough space left to add it. This led to an intense examination of old computer files and pictures in order to decide which things just had to go and which got saved to a CD. I may have accidentally deleted all the photos I took from 2007.

I am afraid to find out for sure.

Then I tried to run some computer clean-up stuff and this process ended up sucking away the rest of my night as I monitored my PC for prompts.

I got tired and went to bed, never having downloaded my game. My eyeballs burn.

DAY TWO:

Continued to fiddle with the computer, but finally got the game downloaded. After I've spent this much time in front of the monitor, the last thing I want to do is play a game. Maybe tomorrow.

After work, I got home and let the pups out. I found a check that I have been waiting for had FINALLY arrived in the mail. Buoyed with happiness, I loaded the dogs into the car and headed back into town to deposit the check into the bank.

Sona and Indy were very excited to go for a ride. They hung their heads out the back passenger windows and let their gums flap in the breeze. This made for a dangerous ride as I was compelled to watch their overwhelming cuteness in my side mirrors instead of giving my full attention to the road ahead.

The dogs loved the bank. The bank man gave them dog biscuits along with my deposit slip.

On the way home, I stopped at McDonald's to get some dinner. The dogs shared my fries with me.

I drank the last beer in the fridge and am getting ready to go watch some Tivo.

My healthy week of salads and exercise seems very, very far away right now.

Stay tuned!

Home Alone: Day One

Today, the boys and my husband headed out for the Upper Peninsula. They are part of a Boy Scout Troop that is going to visit and camp in the Porcupine Mountains for a week.

I have a week to myself and absolutely no idea what to do.

So, I thought I'd get on the ol' blog and let you know what happens when an overworked, underpaid, exhausted, flaky woman is left alone for six days.

I've been thinking about this gift of time for a week or so. Wondering what I should/would/could do. In my mind, I saw myself exercising for an hour and a half every day, going to bed early and eating nothing but salads whilst quaffing undue amounts of green tea.

So far, I've come home from work, wasted an hour on the computer and eaten a box of Sugar Babies.

Stay tuned for more!

A New Job Is Like A Banana

I think that a new job is a lot like a banana.

Well, maybe not just like a banana, but there are certain similarities.

When you first get a new job, everything looks great; just like a slightly underripe greeny-yellow banana that you've just brought home from the grocery store. You see nothing but its potential yumminess.

For the next few days, it sits and ripens into perfection. "My gosh!" you exclaim, "This is the best banana/job ever! I'm so glad I have it!"

Then, seemingly overnight, you notice a few telltale spots. A small blemish that you hadn't noticed before. But hey, its still pretty awesome, right? Maybe not as awesome as when you first got it, but hey, all banana/jobs go through this stage.

The speckles on the banana are natural. It's a process. So is the discovery of some speckles on a new job. The question is, "What are you going to do about it?"

Maybe your coworkers have now gotten so comfortable with having you around that they've dropped their "company" manners and gone right back to the incessant bickering they did before you arrived. Maybe the fact that your boss snorts when he laughs is getting on your nerves way faster than you thought it would. Either way, you have a decision to make.

Toss it or freeze it.

I prefer the latter option. Chill out and remember that freckled bananas make the best bread (and smoothies!). Keep your cool and remember that all jobs show their "spots" eventually. It's up to you to make the best of it. Don't be discouraged by the fact that your new job might have a few flaws. Make changes and adapt. Don't get sucked into the office politics blender! Stay positive and remember all the wonderful reasons why you took this job in the first place.

After all, we're all in this (banana) boat together!